The End

２０－１１－１１　（日）

The End
I'm thinking I should probably close this place down. Once again, I wake up asking myself about what my life for today will be like. You see, our perception of time only makes sense if we interlink what has happened before and what is the current situation before we can expect what is to come.

It's getting harder by the day to convince myself that all these will come to my ideal ending, and it's killing me from inside as I'm start to break down slowly. I think too much and very often when I feel that the pain's too hard to bear, I come back to my blog to pour my hearts out.

Perhaps this may make me feel better temporarily, even though nobody reads them, probably one or two visits in a blue moon. However, having to write a post here means I have to reflect upon myself once again, and more often than not, I think about the negative side only. Pessimist.

The Pessimist
No, I'm not really a pessimist, but being one makes me expect lesser good things from life. I've always find myself a deep thinker, or rather a person who keeps reflecting on the negative side of life.

I'm find myself always behaving childishly, always unwilling to accept the facts that seems unfavorable to my ideal life. However, I always learned reality by the hard way. It seems like heaven is telling me not to believe in myself.

I didn't believe that a broken family could cause problems, I didn't believe that studying a lot makes you a better person and I didn't believe that money solves pretty much all problems, just to name a few.

Belief
I never stopped believing in things, I still believe that if you tried something really hard, you can achieve things. I still believe that a true heart would touch someone someday. I still believe that forever should come someday. It keeps me hoping for a better future.

Am I Wrong?
Someone please tell me, if I was wrong, to have believed in things. To stand for what my beliefs are, and to be stupidly stubborn about certain beliefs. To stay hopeful and alive because I believed.

Time to go
It's time to go, I have to find a cure. I know I cannot stay here forever, even if I were to wait for forever, I cannot be sitting down doing nothing. I'll build up my empire and crown her my queen when forever comes.

Weary Woes
I have so much more to say, so much more pains kept inside. That burning sensation I feel in my chest, as if I was burnt alive from within. It's almost unbearable.

It's pointless even if I say them out, nothing's going to change anyway.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Yes. It's time to get myself back. The one who can enjoy life nonetheless. If I can't live my live happily then I don't have the right to love someone.

P.S I'll be back.

ZeN

Labels: Chain of Thoughts, History